the previous week has been a fast one because of all sorts of different reasons.....most of them good i would say. the initial part went by almost like a dream. it was like a lotus in muddy flowers coz although these might be muddy days with the water of life churning and swirling around me.....times of transition-moments before the beginning of a new semester-but still the days have been mmmmazing.

either way i am raring to go for the new semester because this is my last one and this is the only thing that stands at the moment between me and my PhD-times for independent research. yes, nothing fascinates me more than independence and this is something i have been craving for for quite a while. my own space in my mind.....nothing entices me more than that.

lotsa other things-saw these amazing things and bought something good-a flute. yes, its so much fun to blow into it and transform one's breath into music. everything from nothing.......music from air. isn't everything like that. what the bleep do we know? yes, thats another movie that i ended up seeing and found it as close to what one can get in trying to use the knowledge that we already have to know the unknowable, in trying to use the mind to go beyond it. its amazing to know that people are finally rising up to these levels through external means-things that have already been done with internal means.

its difficult to give it all up.....but can't people see the futility. i saw a corpse today or rather a picture of it, floating in the waters that fills new orleans. it must have been a difficult death. but all of us would have to let go one day. all this we own, all this we know, all those we know.......everything would have to go. still people keep clinging on. there is something else related to this. since yesterday i have been doing menial jobs-mind numbing stuff. cleaning my house, getting things in order, laundry-although the results look fabulous and would definitely aid in the free flow of prana through my house- the effects on me are what i had been watching. and of course i have watched it before too. its much easier i would say to let go of the fruits of one's actions (karma yoga - 'seva' is another word for selfless work or voluntary service) if the actions performed are mind numbing ones-repititive stuff which doesn't require the active involvement of mind. but as soon as action becomes more subtle, involves more mind, get shakti closer to shiva-it is much more difficult to leave your attachment for it. and thus the most difficult to let go are things that we know i guess....our knowledge. but a day shall come when i would forsake that too. i want to be empty.....but before that i want to be really full!!! this is going to be fun. HOT.