gals are strange.....so what?!? move on. this is another aspect of the SS aspect that i am getting now. there are extensions of the same aspect to highest of realms which i might get as i move further up i am sure. for the time being its about knowing and realizing the more mundane of my nature's aspects. though something tells me at times that i have had an idea of these things in the past.....well as its said, when the disciple is ready the guru arrives. that kinda makes life easier i guess!!

either way, i am a lil mood for humor today. so i am gonna utilize this new 'include a picture thing' to get a pic into my blog. lets see if it works.


this as u see is the picture of a horse who slept off in a compromised position. well most men are 'asleep' too....compromised or not. i will talk about this in detail sometime soon.

today was kinda normal in many ways except for one thing....i had this major deja vu. for last couple of years my deja vus have been dream deja vus. i see my future life in dreams and then have deja vus of those dreams rather than of my life-or so i feel. today's was queer because it lasted for more than a minute which is more than the normal deja vu span. and it was not only the vision thing....my internal feelings exactly matched what i had felt in a dream sometime back. getting used to it i guess!!

other than that, started this longitudnal data analysis course....still thinking if i made the right choice. today's class went overhead after a couple of hours. i will try to do something about it, hope to reach somewhere with it. damn statistics.

there are some other developments that started today which seem kinda interesting at the moment. going tomorrow evening for a seminar about it. i don't know if i can write about it here though. this is the problem with public logs i guess. one can hardly write everything one wants to unless its an autobiography and i am 80 and other people i write about are dead and have stopped caring. i guess i will save it up.

i know, i know.... my poems are good. HOT.

and so it was....a kinda good lunch-that bugger in the indian restaurant doesn't have the attitude for hospitality business.....behanchod!! anyway, getting back to the lunch these indian restaurants perhaps keep freezing and heating the same things over and over again till they start tasting good. well, the meats are supposed to taste better with all those long weeks of marination.

nothing profound today, at least not till now. driving in usa and esp. in a city makes me sooooo dull. i got close....but i guess the lil orange ganeshji saved us. the grateful thoughts have been sent on their way. and i can row for sure....whatever sarah might say. no, its not my family profession but what the heck, its pushing water as it pushes you back. every action has an equal and opposite reaction....the water demonstrates the karma theory amply well. yes we did talk about it. someone asks me whether i believe it or not.....i guess one must have the right karmas to have that belief too. but i am not going further on the karma thing here-all that you need to know is that everything happens for good... period. the akbar and birbal story by guru vimlananda is what i remember and will remember till the time i get a good one from my own life(i don't like losing fingers though).

talking of stories i like the zen stories which are simple and to the point....yea! zen doesnt want people to use too much mind....as opposed to indian stories which make you use so much mind that you finally stop using it(try the book "Climbing Chamundi Hill"). india has always been the land of abundance in everything. the positive approach to living and reaching as opposed to denial or suppression or the negative. because one must remember that before renouncing the world buddha had a hell of an amazing time!! so have fun i guess till the time comes.....HOT.

not much has happened since i last started writing this. well that is what i would say if i go for the usual labels about 'things happening'. but then yesterday while talking to a person with fascinating green eyes i realized what i might have known for long but not consciously perhaps. its was like a 2 and 2 coming together.

earlier while talking to a musician i had realized something else from what he had told me about feelings or experiences. he was describing to me the sound of a tabla and at one point he was talking about a specific raaga. but then he said that every beat on the tabla produces infinite notes or sounds though it was a single raaga. and exactly at that moment he said it and i realized it that all that we feel, all our perceptions are essentially infinite. every moment of our lives is filled with these infinite feelings. this was an amazing realization because now any moment i can look at any feeling and feel the infiniteness in it.

and yesterday we were talking about labels and that was when i knew that labels are essentially a way for the mind to make infinite things finite so that they can be grasped and known(logically). other than that everything remains as it is....infinite. the mind of a person stuck in labels just sees these finite labels and remains stuck while the wise man rejoices in the infinite. and having known this i rejoice in the infinite while still carrying on with this life that places an essential limitation on everything.

i don't wish to make this a matter of choice. the whole as it is, is supposed to consist of both. neither the west is wrong nor the east is wrong.....both are right in different ways and both ways have their own important place in a beings life. i see the complementarity of things to come! HOT.

hmmm....so finally i got around to create my own blog about my daily happenings. a lot goes through my mind everyday and it isn't such a bad idea to preserve it for posterity. a number of times in my life i have written things-maintained dairies, keep track of myself-sometimes successfully, sometimes not. i hope what i start today remains for sometime.

today is not such a bad day....its rather auspicious i would say. its the day of guru purnima. a day on which we must thank our gurus for showing us the way. if i think of gurus i can think of 3 people who have been insturmental to me. there are a number of other i would like to thank though. i think i should start with fritjof capra, not a guru but a person who changed my outlook towards life and science. i was primed for better things to come which came in the form of guru vimlananda, who was presented to me by his disciple from usa, robert svoboda(and he does have a website....www.drsvoboda.com). and then i found the book called tripura rahasya which is a book on dialogues and discussions between shri parashurama and shri dattatreya. dattatreya is considered to be the best man ever to have walked this earth and i can imagine why. apart from this line of thought another person who has affected my thinking regarding a number of things has been osho. yes, his take on things from mundane to spiritual have an element of truth that i feel can only emanate from a person with a being as clear as the surface of a lake on which a full moon reflects as clear as if the moon had come down on earth. thanks to all my gurus, in past present and future on this auspicious day for time is but a relative experience of the mind.

having firmly imbibed what my gurus have given me i am free in this life of mine to experience things in the light shown to me and clear my skeptical mind as the realizations happen. its a personal journey otherwise and i am sure i enjoy the journey as much as i would enjoy the goal. i will take this slow and even if i reach i might pretend i havent....travel has its own fun.

met a guy called renju today.....met him before at walmart. he is from kerala probably but born and brought up in mumbai. he has been pretty dogmatic about meeting me.....never seen a guy so bent up on seeing me though a lot of my friends have been quite attached to me in the past. either way, it might be a lot of things. i am yet to find out what the causes are...seem benign to me at the moment.

art fair is goin on in the town right now. everything is overpriced as only things can be in usa on a streetside. but then i like the way people have money to pursue their art. i guess i will take back some of the accessibility and freedom from here regarding my watercolors. i wish to do 4 things in my life.....is that too much.....i ask sometimes. may be not(i consider myself a gemini...an expert in multitasking). the 4 things in my life are-health(personal and public), hinduism or spirituality(i consider them synonymous), painting and writing. these are the 4 areas of life that i guess my life shall concentrate upon. 3 cheers to this life of mine.

i guess i shouldn't write about half of my life right now just coz i started this blog today(though there sure is an underlying fear that i might not return back to this just like a log i started a long time back and all it has is the notes from 1 day of life of mine). but i am hoping that since i am starting this log on this auspicious day of guru purnima i seek blessing from my gurus and hope that i continue writing about this matrix of mine for a long time to come. HOT.