right now i am into 2 books of ayurveda and the cascade of information that is coming in is phenomenal. from what i have seen in it i would classify myself as a Kapha type individual. it is amazing to know the comprehensive way in which the human body has been known. there was one very interesting thing that i came across while reading about the different aspects of one's lifestyle.

i always used to wonder why people open their footwear before entering a temple or any other sacred place. there is actually the custom of opening one's footwear before entering houses in india. as is known, one's energy or prana exits one's body through the feet and the footwear take on the vibrations of this energy maximally. thus inorder to keep a holy place free of vibrations coming from footwear "soaked" with vibrations its better to keep them outside a place where its good to have one vibration-the one of the that deity that resides in the temple.

but that is also the reason that people touch the feet, even wash and drink the liquid from a guru or deity's feet (called 'charanamrit'or feet's nectar). its because the vibrations exiting an enlightened person through one's feet could be used by other people for their own transformation.

also got clear about the 7 generation ancestor thing. its like this. a girl develops all her ovums for her life when she is in the 4th month after conception in the womb of her mother. thus one is definitely affected by the condition of pregnancy of one's maternal grandmother. she is in turn affected by the conditions of the pregnancy of her maternal grandmother and so on. and for some reason(i have to find that out and more)its by the genetic material upto 7 generations before that one's condition is affected in one's life. no wonder for anything auspicious one's rituals are directed upto 7 generations in the past.

and so it happened again........pure fluke. i was looking for kapala on google(the internet Gawd) and out of nowhere found this amazing website. and behold! my long term thirst of knowing more about prana was quenched as i drunk in huge chunks all that material that was up there by none other than David Frawley. i have heard of that name before in some other context-may be in search for "right" hindu litterature but i hadn't delved deeper for sure.

i think it won't be too wrong to put in here some of my own knowledge and wisdom(yea! what else do u think were those experiments i was talking about) along with this new stuff i got here. so in simplistic terms this is how it goes.........

there are 5 types of prana-PASVU-yes, thats the mnemonic(i don't need it anymore but you can use it for a while to boast around your new found knowledge)P=prana, A=apana, S=samana, V=vyana, U=udana. prana is the life energy or vital force or whatever u call it and is responsible for inflow of energy, more specifically inflow. apana is responsible for outflow of energy or mainly outflow or expulsion. samana meaning balance is responsible for flow of energy inwards for processing of stuff that will give one energy-hmmm....digestion. vyana is responsible for distribution of energy from inwards to outwards mainly towards the limbs and other organs of action. udana is the energy that goes up and is responsible for expression(speech) and upright activities. that was a brief history of prana.

but it just started. i won't go too much into other details but rather go with two observations of mine that i realized on my own. the first one is that as far is prana and may be a lot of other things in this world is concerned-they follow the fractal pattern of existence. hope u know about the mandelbrot set. no! well here, have a look. i won't go into the details of it but it simply means that the nature repeats itself right from the lowest level to the highest level in some kind of set pattern and though the pattern seems complex its based on a set of simple rules(funny fractals). there something similar to how prana works too. it has the same five things working in the same five ways at the level of the human body and so it goes on at all levels-heart, mind, individual organs, cells-yup! no escape.

well, another things is regarding the meeting of prana and apana vayu at the level of the umbilicus(its not the umbilicus i would say but a point which is located below the navel called hara). hara is the point in the body where the center of gravity is supposed to be. its also the center for storage of prana and the point from where vyana carries the prana away to rest of the body. hara in sanskrit also means to take away-its the point where the one's last prana or final breath is supposed to exit the body at the time of a person's death-no wonder the god of death, shiva is also called Hara because he is the one who takes it away when the time comes. if one wishes to locate one's hara all one needs to do is to press along the center of the body below the umbilicus and around 2 inches below the navel one feel something special. make sure your bladder is empty though or you might end up pressing somewhere lower and i am not responsible.

but either way the meeting of prana and apana is necessary to get the prana moving into the shushumna nadi-the central channel. and how to do that. well i hope you know about 'kegel exercises' the exercise to stop premature ejaculation by stregthening PC or pubo-coccygeous muscles. well these are the same muscles that one uses to do all sorts of things down there and the reasons for why kegels works may be many in western literature but here is why it works.

ejaculation is an act of expulsion just like other like urination and defecation and all of these are governed by the apana, the downward movement of prana. in meditation one way of making prana and apana meet is to squeeze one's PC muscles while inhaling and this verily forces the prana(due to extra upward movement of apana) to enter the shushumna. as far as premature ejaculation is concerned, the ability of a person to hold one's apana vayu becomes weak leading to its unhindered flow downwards. strengthening the PC muscles by repetitive exercise controls and reverses the flow of apana and this is how it stop PME.

that is one of the reasons why in tantric practices the PC muscles are strengthened by various means by both men and women so that when the time is right and one needs that final push of energy to propel the kundalini upwards the PC muscles can give that extra squeeze. oh! by the way one final thing about hinduism being the most scientific religion of all-its all about the human body and how the body is the cosmos and the cosmos is the body-yes some fractal kinda thing working here too. one may cut open dead bodies and find out about nicotinic receptors in one's intestines(thats why people like a "puff" before they hit the pot) the subtle physiology is something which cannot be known by the present "scientific methods". it needs something else....awareness i guess! of course let me finish this with another snapshot of the wonderful madelbrot set-and while your eyes feast on it remember that its the prana that keeping those eyes alive, for that matter perception alive.oh! and one more thing-did someone tell you about the rishis who could fly and levitate-well thats by the use of udana vayu and its by the use of this udana vayu that the birds fly too. so much for aerodynamics!! HOT.

finally saw the legendary movie THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE UGLY. now i know where the http://www.moviegrooves.com/cgi-bin/axs/ax.pl?http://www.moviegrooves.com/m3u/gbu-low-1.m3u sound like this comes from(click and take a dig). also, after a long time saw a movie that didn't need an actress in any significant role. the last scene where the 3 guys stand at the center of the cemetery trying to figure out the equations was a killer. but the only guy who had it all figured out or had it set up was clint eastwood. and the horses did a good job too. seems thats it more or less for today.

this one was hilarious but at the same time also brought tears to my eyes. its an article i read in one of the most amazing newspapers of india-i love this paper for its opinions and editorials-quite valued i would say. but cutting chase here is what the children had to say:

Dear God, Are you really invisible or is that just a trick? Lucy

Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones, why don't you just keep the ones you have now? Jane

Who draws the lines around the countries?Nan

I bet it is very hard for you to love all of everybody in the whole world. There are only four people in our family and I can never do it.Nan

How did you know you were God? Who told you? Charlene

It's OK that you made different religions but don't you get mixed up sometimes? Arnold

How come you did all those miracles in the old days and don't do any now? Seymour

I was watching TV when the Challenger shuttle exploded. That was a sad thing. Was there anything that you could have done? Were you mad because they came too close to your territory? We're sorry. Jose

no wonder that children are considered close to god or may be god himself. that is one reason i love talking to children.....coz the answers one gets comes directly from the realms of pure consciousness. in children the "I"ness is not developed at all. have you ever watched children doing something. they get immersed in it-totally lost in their work. something which zen guys try to reach. no wonder all enlightened men talk of men becoming children again if they were to realize the truth. but i would say that becoming children won't lead one to the truth but the realization of truth would make one a child for sure.

i guess most people when they grow up, become worse than children because they remain like children(unconscious about what they do, not knowing why they do things) and also develop all these prejudices on their way and get shut down.......closed hearts, closed minds. things won't happen like this. and of course this unconsciousness is the reason why children though closer to god are unaware of it and so cannot be enlightened. YOU HAVE TO BE AWARE THAT YOU ARE AWARE-ONLY THEN.

also read something about Gurdjieff-the great guy of europe in early part of last century. lived in france. his path was also that of self-awareness. this thing which i read, was of forming or being a part of the group so that each person can keep vigil over others and wake them up in turns or when required. something which goes by the concept of 'satsanga' in hindi-sat meaning truth and sanga meaning company......so true company. good idea but some people may not need that. first heard of gurdjieff from the one of my gurus-Osho-one of the most recent gyana yogis of all times i would say. he might want me to take sanyas if he were here but i would decline that coz i wish to do things while still being in this world.....its all in the mind i would say or is it in the no-mind!!

by the way, saw 2 movies today. natural born killers and paycheck. the first one about a romanto-psychotic killer couple and the other a futuristic thriller. the first one had a happy ending i might say coz after countless murders the couple finally come together-how romantic! but one thing that i liked in that movie was-a demon can only be killed with love. woooo, that was original(may be not). as for the second movie-u know how they go. but i have this problem that i don't remember the names of the movies and umpteen times end up watching the same movies again till i realize what i am doing. so everytime i get movies i am kinda apprehensive that it would turn out to be something i have seen before. thankfully today i was spared. i watched two movies for the first time :-)) HOT.

mangal pandey-the rising as its called was a good movie......a nice narration or depiction of an era in history. but not more than that. it was not a movie that would stay with you.....coz it didnt go too far into one's heart. two recent movies that did that to me have been parineeta and veer-zaara in that order. parineeta is one movie that takes you through the ups and downs of a heart's play and finally ends one in an up. nice..... so does veer zaara. but in terms of story parineeta surpasses all the stories or movies that i might have seen with a happy ending. and it definitely shows to the core that the more the trials and tribulations on the way to a happy ending, the more precious is the happiness one feels.

other than that, gave another shot at thai food....a small shot. a hot and sour soup....well it wasnt hot and i was half afraid it might turn out to be bland. but it wasnt too bad i would say. so much for canton. the ride was amazing for all sorts of different reasons. for most of the early part i was kind of stunned in a state of bliss but i recovered later on to quite an extent. the movie gave me some time to recover for sure.

well, tomorrow i am going to start my painting of maa-a 3 canvas series that is going to consist of all those things of maa that i feel most prominently. a kind of personal meditation tool that is going to transport me instantly to the place where i wish to be.....aamaar shyama maa ki kalo je. HOT.

today i was reading 'namarupa'(www.namarupa.org) a mag which is capable of taking one to india and back....and of course the name of the magazine means name and form, one of the types of illusions that keep us involved in the leelaa....dr. svoboda(www.drsvoboda.com) being on the team its hardly a surprise. there was an article that i opened out of nowhere-thats one of the good things about a good book or magazine, its something like tarot, if u open a page at random it will reflect your mind for that day-this article was an interview with one of the pioneer photographers of india named T.S. Sathyan. the first question was about what he felt about India after going around the country for 50-55 years and what he said brought tears to my eyes.

he said that whereever he went all over India, esp. in the villages he would always be welcomed and revered as a guest. however poor a family may be, but they would offer all their food to the guest before thinking about their own hunger. they might go hungry for the whole day but they would take care of the guest first. and just this morning for some reason i was thinking of taking up a bike and going all over india for may be a year or so, just to see the whole country with my own eyes. i will wait for my turn to do that.

there have been other things too. something rained on me yesterday!! i was stuck up with this painting that was about the nearby river. i had sketched that scene before and i had wanted to paint it just to free my hands but i never like copying from nature.....i wish to have something which comes forth from my own self. so i was in this stuck up place where i didnt want to leave something undone which i had started and didnt wish to paint something unoriginal as well. result.....my easel had this sketch on it for weeks now waiting for the paintbrush to touch it.

it had been solved today.....and in a big way i would say. i got this idea to paint something real different than what i have done ever before. and its going to be on maa-who else but here to take me to higher realms of the imagery world from now onwards. yes, nothing unoriginal from now onwards. i set myself free but u need some kind of rain to make u wet....and it had rained yesterday.

i was also looking at my sketch book where i put in all my paintings as sketches before they become alive with colors. and there was a place where i had a sketch of an 'AUM' below which i had written instructions as to how i should go about it. well the question now was that if i had the image so well in mind why should i write instructions for myself to paint it. but i guess its just how it is with other things that one experiences. its difficult to bound experiences in words or language(unless the language is concerned with vibrations and not with semantics like sanskrit- the vibes of whose chants are capable of taking you to the same realms as those in which the chants were concieved) and the realms of image world are one such experience to relive which you need indicators that take lead you towards the experience of the same image that you had when you had first concieved it. so the instructions!!

today was a strange day....long deja vu. the longest i have had till now. went on for around 5 mins....not like a single instant stuff.....a long procession of images and feelings and sounds. i should say my awareness is increasing. welcome i guess. i wanted to keep somethings private but due to a default setting on my blog list i guess parts of me went out to the world. the deficiencies have been corrected.

other than that, downloaded lotsa movies and music. the world of internet is amazing.....exactly the things that consciousness would need for its expansion and play. mangal pandeys songs sit on my hard disk....good stuff. a r rehman is a gandharva of the highest order for sure. unfortunately converted into a muslim but thanfully still in india. i saw the guy across the line last year when i was entering usa. he too was coming in for the independence day celebrations i guess in new york. i bowed to him and he bowed in return. for some reason i feel i am going to see him again.

otherwise, another book on tantra has arrived. ajit mookerjee is the guy who has got all this stuff out into the world. this one deals extensively with rituals, mantras, ways of doing 'the experiments' which takes one towards......well, ONE. this is what can be called the raja yoga. i guess i am on a path towards changing paths. gyana to raja but raja is more fun that gyana. gyana is kinda dry and this is kinda wet. gyana is advaita and in raja one has to deal with duality first. gyana may be a bit lop-sided but raja is life inclusive. i am getting paradoxical for a moment here....if i know about something which is all inclusive gyana yoga must be given its due respect. but its going to be like this....gyana and raja will mix in me. happy??

saw all these various tantric objects up for sale. feel like going back to india and buy all i wish to buy from shops along the road for few dollars equivalent...including the human skulls (called kapala in tibet-used for tantric rites. don't u see that pic!! kapala literally means forehead in indian languages) which one might get for $4 around may be. billion people in india.....what is the shortage of skulls anyway. lemme see if maa calls me around sometime. but raja yoga costs money and if i gonna do something i better get rich for once. but wealth is also a kind of power and power without knowledge is dangerous. i guess i am also learning vital lessons as i advance towards being rich. coz for some reason although i am no.3 my name is 12 which puts me in a position of a perpetual learner. so much for still being a student......HOT.

doing a little experiment right now with myself....and i can feel the heat in my head and my thoughts straying and almost taking a grip over my mind and turning the sails inadvertently in the direction i don't want it to go. this is one tough call and i can feel it. i am not able to function in ways i want to and its making me do things against what i might think of doing otherwise. well isnt that what is said about controlling ones nature....the man who can control one's nature is the biggest conquerer.

but may be i should not try to conquer it-rather divert it...yes diversion is the tactic....the aikido way. dont waste ur opposite sides energy, rather use it for ur own purposes. before i learn how to do that i guess i wud rather let the flow be as nature wants it to be. or may be not....coz lemme see afterall if the experiment i am doing to keep the flow in control works? well thats what the experiment is all about....and there are no set rules for this. but there must be-i just dont know bout it. what the heck, lemme get my own rules. isnt that all the fun is about??

i am developing a strange feeling for some days.....its a feeling of futility, of going on doing things which men have done for eons, even those extraordinary things that have been done-are they new? but then even if i do end up doing some NEW, something that has never been done before....there is a sort of unrest within me, a feeling of letting this life go away like its not making any difference. would it matter a lot if i were not born on this earth? would it matter a lot if i were to spend the rest of my life in prison, or as a saint, or as ...?

may b i am taking too general a view of the world when i say such things. but one thing is true...i am not satisfied with the way things are....and the problem is i don't know what will give me that satisfaction. its like being on a quest where the object of search is not known, being on a path that takes one somewhere....where? i don't know about analogies anymore....do they matter any way. what matters by the way? do i matter, do what i do matters, does this whole creation matters? what the hell are we doing in this galaxy of million stars earning and spending and working and hoping and living and dying.....poof everything ends.

i have seen a lot of things, read about others which i have not seen, known others that i have not read. perhaps i also know whats lacking in those lives. perhaps i shud just drop it. perhaps i must shut up like others and go on with things.....would that matter though? what the fuck matters?????